Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
