Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
