Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize