Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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