just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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