hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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