Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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