As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
