I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize