How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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