my mouth tastes like poor choices
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
