The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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