Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
