Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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