I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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