Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
