Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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