Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
