somebody snuck up and got me drunk
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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