I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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