You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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