i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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