If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
