it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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