i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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