The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
