Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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