i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
