Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
