No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
