I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize