The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Two words: blizzard sex
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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