Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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