well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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