can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
