What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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