Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
