I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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