Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
this is an emotional support booty call
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
