Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
