I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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