Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
