I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
In other news, I just burned my penis
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
