The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
