I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize