Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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