I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
