Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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