I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
