she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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