You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
