Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
