You smell like stripper and shame
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
